The only real elegance is in the mind; if you’ve got that, the rest really comes from it. – Diana Vreeland
There is looking the part but more important there is a certain carriage an elegant person has that when you see it you just know it. It really is a state of mind. So can you be elegant while running around in sweats, oil stains on your shirt, hair a mess and unkempt? I guess some people can but that is not what I want to talk about in this post. This blog is all about living luxuriously and elegantly. When we cultivate elegance it is about being selective of the choices we make in our lives. There are so many choices and we are making many every single day. You can choose to wear pajamas while running errands or you can choose to dress more chic – ultimately it is your own choice.
Elegance requires experience and sophistication that is why the older women get, the more elegant they appear and behave. Over the years of existing we train our eye to see beauty, understand quality and set our standards high. An elegant woman has confidence in herself and her choices. Her elegance radiates from within. There is something cool, calm and collected about her. She doesn’t gossip or judge.
Here are ten ways that you can get into an elegant frame of mind
A person with confidence is living her best life without apology. In this day in age sometimes it can feel embarrassing to be well dressed. You look around and everyone is in jeans and a t-shirt, at best, and you are well dressed. Be confident in your outfit. Own it. Be un-apologetically yourself. (I always like this GIF, have her confidence!)
2. Walk with Purpose
Walk like you know where you are going but don’t walk like you are in a rush. Have a purpose in your stride. Keep your shoulders back and your chin parallel to the floor. Posture is very important. Your body language says a lot about you – make certain it is screaming elegance.
Sit up in a chair being mindful of your spine and its position. Slouching is always easier and a bad habit formed from many bad years of bad posture. There are many postural exercises that can be done to strengthen your body so that you sit properly without causing more damage to your body.
4. Be Kind
Make sure that you look at people in the eye when talking to them. Put the phone down and really pay attention to what people are saying. Being courteous in your gestures. Remember loved ones special occasions. Compliment a stranger with an honest compliment. Tip well. Smile at people, especially people who feel invisible such as the elderly. Make sure your eyes are smiling. Keep a positive energy around you. The world needs more kindness.
5. Accept Compliments
When someone compliments you, say “thank you.” That is it. Do not get into any old story to justify their comment. Say thank you and bask in how wonderful it feels.
6. Be Discreet
Keep certain conversations secret – between you and someone you trust to no end. Don’t talk about others and don’t feel the need to share details about your life in conversations you have. Have memorized responses so that if a person asks a question that catches you off guard you can respond elegantly.
7. Practice Good Manners
If you do not know table manners, learn them. Use please and thank you. Read etiquette books and brush up on your skills.
8. Speak Eloquently
Speak in a way that will do you justice. Do not speak too loud that others in a restaurant can hear your voice or your laugh. Don’y use vocabulary you don’t know in efforts to sound smarter. It will only back fire. Speak about what you know, do not pretend. It is ok to say I don’t know.
9. Be Sincere
Live your truth. Be who you are and except it. Elegance is a state of mind, it is being courteous and civil. These traits are foundation traits. Everything else is who you are. So live your truth and be yourself.
10. Know Thyself
Know who you are, what you like, what you need and want. When you know who you are and want you want in life you can go after it. You are informed in your choices. You will have no overhanging, nagging feeling if you are true to who you are.
These are things we all need to strive for everyday – it gets easier and easier the more you practice. Elegance really is the art of restraint. It is much easier to be brash, selfish, and rude. It really is. When we are elegant we are aware of our behavior and how our behavior can either make someones day great or miserable. Be the sunshine in the world. Be the change. Be elegant.